12 Miles

Tits. I have tits--and my knee aches.

Let's get the facts out of the way. I ran 12.2 miles in less than 2 hours. Since Rob and Katie couldn't run any way, I just stuck close to home and ran a slightly different course. From my house I ran to Olympic and headed west. I turned north on Fairfax and then headed back east on Sunset. Fairfax is all uphill. Rather than turn on La Brea, I continued on Sunset to Vine and took that back to Beverly, made a quick turn towards Larchmont and ran south to 3rd where I picked up my usual route on 4th Street back to my house.

It was a good run. Getting motivated to actually get up and put on my shoes was the toughest part, but the promise of food was enough to kick my ass into gear. When I woke up, though, I had a slight twinge above my right knee cap. It wasn't painful, but it was bothersome. I ran and it didn't bother me. When I got back, though, I noticed that the ache was back. Still, it didn't hurt badly. I went about my day and on Monday I didn't feel any thing.

Tuesday morning, though, I woke up and it was back. Aaargh! I ran on it tonight and again it didn't bother me, but afterwards I felt it more. It seemed to get worse after sitting around eating dinner in Thai Town. I walked trying not to put too much stress on the right leg. The ache lessened once I was moving, but it's still there. I just hope it's not the recurrence of my phantom knee pain--and I hope it doesn't affect my marathon, which is already next weekend!

As for my tits, I do have them. I've known for a while that I have them. When I run I check my reflection often to see how badly my chest and belly are heaving. I've noticed in some pictures the jelly-like consistency of my chest when the photographer catches me at just the right moment. I'd like to think that I just have overly developed pectoral muscles, but that isn't the case. Yes, there is muscle there but there is also fat, and the combination of the two makes for a chest that heaves like the sea during a hurricane.

I thought that I was the only one that really noticed how bouncy my tits are, but during my run I finally got confirmation. I can't quote exactly what he said, but as I passed a stoned-looking guy on the sidewalk, I distinctly heard him say "titties" and I vaguely heard him say, "It looks like he's got titties." Again, the only word I heard clearly was "titties," but I am sure that he was referring to me. I have tits and other people notice! I wondered why runners often stare at me when I run by. Now I know that it must be my man tits that are catching their attention.

After hearing the guy's comment I kept cupping my tits to see how badly they were undulating as I run. They don't feel as if they're bouncing too much, but seeing my reflection clearly shows strong heaving. I really ought to strap these things down.

In any event, there's not much I can do. I've had tits for most of my life, and I doubt they'll go away soon or easily. I would have to lose that last 10-15 pounds I've been trying to shed for 10 years now. Of course it doesn't help that after running as much as I do, I stuff my mouth silly with food. On Sunday, post 12 miler i joined the family for lunch at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles where I gorged myself on Scoe's #1 - 2 big waffles and a quarter chicken. I could have finished the whole thing, but shame caused me to leave a quarter of my waffles on my plate.

Oh, tits. I guess we'll be together until the end of time.